5 tips to handle criticism without taking things to the heart

Criticism is something we all face, whether at work, in relationships, or even from strangers online. And in reality, it doesn’t always feel good. Sometimes it stays in the mind, especially when it touches a nerve or catches us off guard. But handling criticism isn’t about avoiding emotion, it's about managing it with emotional intelligence, which helps us pause, reflect, and respond instead of reacting on impulse.Emotional intelligence means understanding your own emotions and being able to handle interpersonal situations calmly and wisely. When someone criticises us, our ego might jump in to defend or deny. But a high emotional quotient (EQ) helps us identify that not all criticism is meant to hurt, and even the harsh ones can hold valuable lessons if we know how to learn from them.Here are some tips we can followThe first moment after receiving criticism is often the most emotionally charged. Instead of reacting immediately, it is better to step back and take a breath. A short pause helps to calm down and avoid saying something defensive or emotional that one might regret later. By creating space between what’s said and how one responds allows the brain to process the feedback with more clarity and less ego.Sometimes criticism is poorly said, but that doesn’t mean it lacks truth. A person might speak harshly, but their point could still be valid. Emotional intelligence helps you listen for the message, not just the tone. Try to ask yourself, “What is this person actually trying to say?” instead of focusing only on how they said it.Instead of shutting down, open up the conversation with curiosity. Ask thoughtful questions like, “Can you help me understand what made you feel that way?” or “What do you think I could have done differently?” This shows emotional maturity and turns criticism into constructive conversations. It also helps you gather more context, clarify misunderstandings, and show the other person that you're willing to justify, not just defend yourself.It’s totally normal to feel hurt when someone points out a flaw or mistake, especially if it hits a sensitive spot. But emotional intelligence reminds us that not every criticism is a personal attack. Sometimes it’s just about a specific behaviour or situation, not a judgment on who you are as a person. One mistake doesn't lessen our worth or abilities. When you can separate your identity from the feedback, it becomes a lot easier to learn from it, instead of being demotivated by it.You don’t have to accept every piece of criticism as the ultimate truth. Emotional intelligence gives the space to pause and sort through it. One should question oneself, if the feedback is fair, or is it coming from someone who understands my work or intentions, or if it feels useful, take it on board and grow from it. If it’s harsh, vague, or clearly not constructive, it’s okay to let it go.